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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    The fear of getting hard
    The restless mass of lager

    Artist: R.E.M.
    Real Lyric: The fear of getting caughtOf recklessness and water

    The story:

    The first time I heard it, I knew those couldn't be the real lyrics, but it powerfully described my first experience of night swimming, on Hampstead Heath, London after an evening drinking at a pub (bar) with the friends of a recently-acquired girlfriend.
    I really was affected by two fears - the folly of trying to swim with a belly-full of beer and the fear of getting an erection in front of young women who were "comfortable with their (and everyone else's) nudity" and would expect me to be likewise.
    So that, I think, is why I heard it the way I did. But I looked up the right lyrics on the web as soon as I could. The web may be arresting the development of mondegreens.

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