The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.
The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell
The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black
The Story: And my blunt is my ho now
The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top
Q: Some of the "real" lyrics aren't really the real lyrics. Why?
A: Many people write in to say that some pages get the "real" lyrics wrong. Please understand that this site contains user-generated content and is just for entertainment purposes -- it should not be considered a research site, where you can come to find real lyrics. When KissThisGuy.com accepts submissions, we don't currently have a validation process for the "real" lyrics, so occasionally some are incorrect. Editing is performed by our staff at the viewer’s or to scan and remove obscene or offensive material. The site has a feature in place where viewers and members can submit a correction. The volume of incoming submissions is very large so understand that it may take a longer than expected time to respond or make changes. If you spot a specific mistake, please use the link next near the voting section that lyric's page labeled "Real lyric incorrect? Let us know."
Q: Would you send me the lyrics to my favorite song?
A: No. We currently do not store, research or process the real lyrics in their entirety. There are many sites on the Web that archive real lyrics.
Q: What are the Funny/Not Funny "vote" options for?
A: This is your opportunity to vote on each lyric. Top ranking funny and even unfunny get reviewed by our Content Management staff for potential use as a featured lyric on the site or used with our media partners (e.g. radio stations, magazine publications) giving our members and viewers the opportunity to let the best and worst material circulate. The same is true for our stories and we are in the process of creating a voting system for those as well.
Q: How did this whole thing come about?
A: The archive started as a spontaneous idea originating out of the Birdhouse Arts Collective in September, 1995. The concept was inspired by the mother of a close friend of the founder, who confessed to us that, as a young girl, she had thought that the old church song "A little walk with Jesus" was called "A little chocolate Jesus." In fact, she never realized her error until she was almost 45 years old. The collection of misheard lyrics was later moved to the web. In late 2006, the site became too large for just a couple of people and was acquired by HumorBox Entertainment. The founder and HumorBox Entertainment have begun rolling out major changes to site – too many to name here. Stay tuned and stop by daily to participate and enjoy with friends and family.
Q: Is there a technical name for these mishearances?
A: Well, not a technical name as in psychology terminology, but there is an anecdotal name -- they're called mondegreens, and it's all explained at Mondegreens Ripped My Flesh.
Viewer Jim Coleman offers the following on the subject of mondegreens:
This term was coined when an author was referring to hearing "upon the green" as "mondegreen". Malachi McCourt, brother of Frank who wrote Angela's Ashes, titled his autobiography "A Monk's Swimmin'," which is how the little Irish boys heard the line from the Ave Maria/Hail Mary "blessed are thou amongst women."
Historically, mondegreens help to explain the many different lyrics in similar folk songs. In the old Appalachian ballad, Wildwood Flower, one version has the lines "The myrtle so white and its emerald hue , the pale and the leader and islip so blue" while another has "The myrtle so white and its emerald hue, the pale amanita and eyes look so blue." Amanita is a deadly poisonous mushroom, hardly something for a love lyric.
Sometimes, the mondegreens are intentional. On the John Laroquette show many years ago, in which he played a bus station manager, there were two cops, one a short woman and the other a rotund middle aged man. The woman once stated that her partner was so food obsessed that he thought the line to the Crystal Gayle song was "Donuts make your brown eyes blue."
Q: Why do you list some artists as "unknown"?
A: As a user-generate based website, many viewers or members submit them that way. In some cases, if a submission comes in without a known artist, it will still get high votes and appear on the site. Our audience has the ability to submit a correction for any entry on the site.
Q: Where are the "Louie Louie" mishearances?
A: We receive this question a lot. There's a long tradition of this song being woefully misheard, and there have even been radio marathons dedicated to the topic. We don't know how to explain it, but for some reason, people just haven't submitted "Louie Louie" mishearances to this site. Or if they have, the public haven't voted for the funniness of those submissions enough to get them published. Got a good one? Feel free to submit it!
Q: Has the site ever been academically cited?
A: Apparently so, though we haven't seen the text in question. A reader tells us that kissthisguy is referenced in David G. Myers: Psychology 7th ed., pg 150 1st-2nd paragraph, in a section about Jean Piaget and schema/cognitive development.
Q: Can I advertise here?
A: The Archive uses standard ad publishing systems from Burst! Media and Google's AdSense. as well as direct sponsorships from advertisers. You can submit inquiries to Humor Box Entertainment.
Q: Will you do a link exchange with me?
A: The site receives far too many requests for link exchanges. Link exchanges are handled exclusively by our parent company Humor Box Entertainment and are approved on a per case basis. Please do not submit them to this site directly as they will not receive a response.