"Somebody lo♥es potatoes,
come sail us a runaway train..."

The story:

Watching FREE digital channels via 'rabbit-ear'
converter box as forswore never to subscribe to
cable w/ 999 channels and nothing else ON but
infomercials, reruns of crime, dance, 'reality'
shows, & saw-heard this CitiBank ad played
endlessly, 'specially during 'prime time', showing
woman using her card to buy outfit & equipment to
go mountain climbing, finally reaching the
pinnacle of a ROCK formation w/ alternative indie-
band "LP" w/ lead head singer L.P., sounding
exactly like "...somebody lo♥es potatoes, come
sail us a runaway train...", and shook my head,
cleaned my ears w/ Q-Tips & hydrogen peroxide, yet
results were always the same; after some digging,
finally unearthed the actual lyrics which weren't
really any much better, as I'm a 'spud boy'
(looking for a real 'tomato') and biased towards
ALL things potato, 4OOO different varieties (!):

"Adirondack Blue, Adirondack Red, Agata, Almond,
Apline, Alturas, Amandine, Annabelle, Anya, Arran
Victory, Atlantic, Avalanche, Bamberg, Bannock
Russet, Belle de Fontenay, BF-15, Bildtstar,
Bintje, Blazer Russet, Blue Congo, Bonnotte,
British Queens, Cabritas, Camota, Canela Russet,
Cara, Carola, Chelina, Chiloé[92], Cielo, Clavela,
Blanca, Désirée, Estima, Fianna,Fingerling, Flava,
German Butterball, Golden Wonder, Goldrush, Home
Guard, Innovator, Irish Cobbler, Jersey Royal,
Kennebec, Kerr's Pink, Kestrel, Keuka Gold, King
Edward, Kipfler, Lady Balfour, Langlade, Linda,
Marcy, Marfona, Maris Piper, Marquis, Megachip,
Monalisa, Nicola, Pachacoña, Pike, Pink Eye, Pink
Fir Apple, Primura, Ranger Russet, Ratte, Record,
Red LaSoda, Red Norland, Red Pontiac, Rooster,
Russet Burbank, Russet Norkotah, Selma, Shepody,
Sieglinde, Silverton Russet, Sirco, Snowden,
Spunta, Up to date, Stobrawa, Superior, Vivaldi,
Vitelotte, Yellow Finn, Yukon Gold...∞"

"Somebody LO♥ES potatoes...", fer sure!
(Google YouTuber to hear the actual song)
Also wondered what mountain climbing have to do w/
"potatoes" or "sail" (in my version) or for that
matter the correct "gate open" or "runaway train",
but then I didn't write the song, filmed ad, or
wrote the ad copy.
In what context?
What were the MAD men thinking o'ver their
martinis, their Scotch & sodas, their coke(s)?
Alas, an insoluble riddle...au gratin...can you
please put another 33⅓ "LP"-L.P. LP on the
turntable for me willya?