My name is Perry Mason, I'm addicted to drugs.

The story:

Thankfully, I can say that this was not my error. A friend, who shall remain nameless, upon hearing the song for the first time, concluded that the abovementioned were the correct lyrics. Then, she made the mistake of actually singing them...let's just say that she quickly learned, through much laughter, just how badly she had screwed them up. Undetered, she still sings them that way...