Meet the hero of the A-street Rams;
I heard them holler, and they called him damp.

The story:

My father and I have always shared a love of Simon and Garfunkel. We were driving to Tennessee to see them in concert, and it seemed appropriate to listen to all of our Simon and Garfunkel CDs on the road trip.
Needless to say, I nearly pissed myself laughing when I heard dad's version of The Sound of Silence. He's apparently been singing it this way for twenty or thirty years.

(Two years later, he's still singing his mangled version because it "sounds better". It also proves he's exactly as southern as I say he is, because seriously, who else would include the word "holler" in a song like this?)