In 1985, I was 19, my co-worker SWORE that the real lyrics were "If you don't beat your meat, you can't have any p***y; how can you have any p***y if you don't beat your meat?"

The story:

It wasn't me it was my younger brother. The most irritating thing about my brother was when ever he heard song lyric wrong he would never admit he was wrong he would argue and argue that what he heard was correct. I'll bet to this day he still calls this song that.