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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    I'm gonna sex-offend you

    Artist: Fleetwood Mac
    Real Lyric: I'm just second hand news



    The story:

    It was the day before Thanksgiving.
    My dad and I were in the kitchen prepping
    Thanksgiving dinner and listening to the Rumours
    album. I knew my interpretation of the song was
    incorrect. After hearing him singing along, I
    decided to pluck up the courage to ask him.
    "Dad, what's that lyric?"
    "I'm just second hand news"
    "Oh... That makes more sense"
    "What did you think it was?"
    "Nothing--I... I'm gonna sex-offend you."
    My dad loves Fleetwood Mac. They are very important
    to him. So, when I suggested that they would sing a
    lyric like that, he was shocked and appalled. And it
    showed on his face.
    But he turned away to wrap his mind around this
    disappointment of a daughter and sweetly explained
    "Nope. 'I'm just second hand news.'"
    I would like to never discuss this with him. And I
    hope he knows how sorry I am for tainting Fleetwood
    Mac.

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