I was a lonely teenage drunken f*ck

The story:

Ronnie James Dio has, for a long time, been a running joke among my friends and I. We all like his music and listen to it often, but never got over the unintentional comedy of his music (and the fact that he looks like Carla from Cheers) enough for the hero worship metalheads usually reserve for the guy. But this story takes place at a time where we were still in the Shock and Awe phase of fandom, which, because of this story and other retarded moments like it, would soon change.

So anyway, one day a friend of mine and I were talking on the phone, talking s**t about another friend who, at the time, didn't look like he would ever make it out of high school. The subject slowly turned to equal opportunity, then racial equality, and then a larger, lyric-reference laden exchange on the state of the world and Africa or somesuch.

Having some Dio on in the background, I, midway through a little speech about how European cultural dominion doesn't necessarily reflect social darwinism OR WHATEVER, punctuated my impassioned commentary with (what I thought were) relevant lyrics from a song we were both familiar with. "Dude, you gotta think about it. 'Is the white man always right? No! He can play the fool'".

When he finally stopped laughing at me and telling everybody we know what an ass I sounded like, I resolved to never take rock lyrics seriously again.

This may have been one of those 'had to be there stories'; if so, I guess you had to be there.