I want all that stupid old ***t/ Like letters and sonnets

The story:

I have loved this song forever, but did not know the actual lyics until I saw it quoted in an article. It was not necessarilly embarassing, but it was a smack-myself in the head moment which sent me looking for the lyrics to confirm that I was wrong. I still stubbornl maintain that my version actually makes sense in the context of the rest of the song.