"...this Mormon is down on his knees..."

The story:

I'm middle-aged now. The Osmonds were my poster boy
teen idols for my younger years. At a recent get-
together with some other "mature" ladies, we had a
little too much to drink and started spinning oldies
from our youth...in a drunken and loud voice, I sang
these lyrics with all my heart, much to the delight
of my friends. Well, the Osmonds WERE Mormons...and
pretty devout. So it always made sense to ME!